Break Ups

Break ups are hard. I was reminded of that recently. Even when everyone is on the same page and knows it's time or for the best - it's still hard and traumatic. And what I hate most is how puppy doggish I get. I'm so ready to wag my tail and be best friends again. I have very short term memory when it comes to people. It's taken me many years to realize "forgive and forget" is not a long term strategy - rather "forgive and be cautious" works much better. I know this was part of what was going on last weekend. So I'm trying to be mature and know that we all can still run into each other and laugh and get along but it can't be the same.

I once had someone quit in an awful way - mean, hurtful, accusatory. I wrote a kind note back and wished her well. I ran into her a few years later and recognized her but didn't recall the details - I gave her a hug and talked a bit and it wasn't until afterward that the details of our last contact came back to me. Kurt said he wondered how it would go when he saw her walk through the door - but I just don't remember the bad very well. It's a good thing in general, but it also puts me in the line of fire much more than necessary.