Wednesday, October 21, 2009

"Forgive Me Wendy, for I Can't Lose Weight"

So I have found that I'm needing to blog less & less because I'm not in such a self discovery mode. Also I've been incredibly busy with work once again. But this is what I think is most curious this month - I've become the confessional of the dieters. It's become quite noticable that I'm losing weight and I've encouraged at least 6 or 7 of my friends to become more dedicated to their dieting efforts so now every time I see them I hear, "I'm not losing any weight!" Or I'm being told what they are eating and I should give them some advice. Of course the advice that I give is, "Do what I'm doing." But no one has wanted to do that so far - for some reason. I'm trying not to be judgmental because I too thought it would be impossible to go off carbs and "normal" food a year ago. I remember researching, I think it was Overeaters Anonymous, and they said that they encourage being off all addicting foods, such as bread, coffee, sugar, pop & I thought, "There is NO WAY I could do that!" But look, I'm now doing it (well except for coffee - I call it my Fourth Meal). I just don't know what it is or was that made me suddenly snap into being able to do this. I know it was the sum of a hundred different things but it did all suddenly click and I made the shift. I wish I had the secret. All I know is that it was CONSTANT attention to the goal and the drive to someday conquer my issue with food. I hope my friends find their own success because it's a drag to not lose weight when you feel like you're dieting!!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Diet Addiction

Have you ever met a diet addict? I wasn't really ever a diet addict because I don't like diets enough. But I sure have known my share of diet addicts - always onto the next trick & quick fix. I used to think it was just because they were naive but I found out from my own experience that it's much more than that.

Even though I don't like "dieting" I loved the pre-diet excitement - "This time it's going to be different. This one sounds like it might actually work." It's where anything is possible and you have the ability to forgive yourself from all your past food sins because it's all going to be erased in the coming months.

You can get addicted to the "start" because it's where you can have hope but no accountability. I used to think, "I'm starting my diet tomorrow so I can eat this now." Then I'd kind of start tomorrow and quit a few days after that and do the whole thing again a few weeks later. It was the pre-diet thinking that allowed me to forgive what I was doing right now.

When I began my therapy for emotional eating I actually craved going on a "diet" because it was more comforting and easier than working through my "stuff". I just wanted to follow a plan and have it work and not have to talk about mother issues. And I'm sure if going on a diet worked than I could have done that, but the problem is, I had to work through my issues before a plan COULD work! I asked my friend who had gastric bypass, prior to surgery, if she thought she should work on her issues prior to g.p. because it's really not the fix and you can gain the weight back. She said she had about a year after g.p. before the weight would start creeping back on and she was hoping to use that year to figure things out. Yep, sounds about right - it sure is easier to hope that the diet or the surgery will be the fix - but for most of us, it just isn't.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Juggling Mama!

I'm very encouraged. I'm down 40 lbs & I'm in the groove. I'm feeling better, recovering from illnesses faster, so far so good.

Since the boys have been born I have made my login name "Juggling Mama" because I feel like that's my life - juggling everything all the time. But I've expanded the view to the general rule of balance. I've heard it said that "balance is that thing you see while swinging between extremes." Isn't that the truth!

So I was contemplating juggling this morning - I personally can't juggle but Kurt can & I've heard that the key to juggling is keeping your eyes fixed somewhere above where the balls are passing through. If you fixate on one of the balls, you will drop the others. But you have to fixate on each individual ball for a while to get the hang of it. First, you bounce one ball up & down until that becomes second nature. Then you throw it between one hand and another until that becomes second nature. Next comes two balls - you must throw them across as well as with each hand individually for a while until that becomes a natural motion. Then the real trick - adding a third ball. This is where you're really tested - focusing on the general and not on the individual - trusting your sensation but not over thinking the action. Once you have the feeling of three it's easier to add four and so on - until you reach your limit and can't add any more.

As it applies to dieting - I had to focus on each component of why I was overeating before I could put it all together to achieve results. Many people have one or two areas down but not all three so either they are good at exercise but still eat a package of cookies at a sitting. Or they are great at "dieting" but within months of achieving their goal they gain it all back. Or they are great at analyzing but never move out of their head to apply what they have learned and begin making changes. It's tricky but I believe the key is paying attention to all the pieces individually and then making the leap to put them all into motion at once and see what it feels like to juggle.

As it applies to life - to achieve success - either in marriage, in work, spiritually - it requires paying attention to ourselves - what REALLY makes us happy, what we REALLY want to accomplish - then paying attention to the other piece of the puzzle - our mate's needs, our job requirements, what success in a spiritual sense would mean - and then putting the pieces together and in motion all at once and see if we can find that right balance. It's tough and we never get it all right. Then you add kids - those would be balls 3, 4, & 5 & let's see how well you do! Chaos.

The encouraging part is that anyone can learn to juggle if they put their mind to it. It's going to be the rare instance that someone CAN'T learn - and that goes for life's juggling as well. It takes time and until you find the trick, it feels like it's beyond you - but you can do it, if that's what you really want.