Soooo Depressed

I'm on day 2 of my "barely can get out of bed 'cause I'm so depressed" state. Sunday night's incident has knocked me out for the count and I'm trying to find my will to go on. Thankfully, because of my years of chronic fatigue, the kids are parented well from a reclining position - so I'm thankful for that. Around 4: today I'm visited by The Man to see how I'm doing. "I'm soooo depressed." "Why?" "Life as we know it." This brief conversation is followed by his brief nap and then leaving to check on the children. Another graduate of the Suicide Prevention Hotline Home School Program! So I come up with a brilliant idea - since I'm basically only needed from 7:30 - 5:30 every day I will take my sleeping pills around 4:30 and knock myself out instead of going through the downhill spiral 5:30 on usually brings. I won't have to eat by myself every night - which usually starts the spiral and which is then followed by "we left without telling you because we thought you wanted to rest". Anyway, I get up and take a couple of pills - need to take more because I really want to sleep through dinner - too depressed to eat. Around 5:30 I'm revisited to see if I want anything to eat or drink - 20 years has trained him well to throw food into the cage. Unfortunately, I'm not into eating so a "discussion" ensues. I must say that having a "discussion" on sleeping pills is a very effective way to have the "calm and mild spirit". But we go nowhere except that 2 hrs has passed and I MUST eat now - but I can't drive or cook - so food he eventually brings. Should have just gone for that in the first place. Why fight the inevitable. It's now 11:30 - still can't sleep - still depressed and lonely and very much wanting strawberry pie a la mode!!