Saturday, March 6, 2010

Time to get serious

I've slowed to a crawling, near stopping speed with my weight loss. I'm back to so many of my old thought patterns, and yet they are SOOOO much improved from where they started. But then that becomes the problem - "Don't beat yourself up. You're so much better than where you were. This is a long term process, you have to do it in a way to not burn out." I need to decide if I really want this or not. Basically I'm eating fats all day long instead of a little here & there. I'm eating "bites" of carbs - 1/2 a piece of bread, a bite of a pancake, a bite of pizza. All these patterns are halting any progress and just making life frustrating. It's hard to not eat a whole slice of pizza when you see a 1 lb weight loss in 3 weeks. I was losing 3 lbs a week on average for months - but then I've modified this plan to the new & improved Wendy style - which means eat a bit more of what you like & see no success. It also doesn't help that everyone is going on & on about how much I've lost. It makes it seem like I've already arrived at my goal. I'M STILL 100 LBS OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE. Because I don't have a correct viewpoint of my body image (see earlier posts) I feel much lighter than I am. I never did see myself as fat as I was so with all these praises & my new size 20 jeans, it's made it harder to keep the final goal in sight. I think the final straw has been the thought, "If I just exercised more, I could keep eating this way" This is the thought I've had for the past 19 years & it's back. CRAZY WENDY! This is the voice of CRAZY WENDY. Let's reason her off the ledge - "If you had been exercising for the past 19 years you wouldn't be in the position you are in. If you showed us that you were willing to exercise more & had steady weight loss, then, yes, maybe add an avocado here or there - but first PROVE you are willing to do it. Show me the treadmill in any position but closed & we'll talk again." Okay, she's moved away from the ledge & has quieted down. I'm telling you, keeping all the irrational voices from taking over, is a full time job over here. Okay, time to show us what you're made of!!

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