Comfort Foods No Longer Bring Comfort

I had another epiphany the other day. And it was a bit depressing. I've eaten bites over the past few months of things that I've been craving, pita & hummus, pancakes, corn chips and the latest was garlic bread served with my salad. They've all been small bites and they've ALL been disappointing. I, of course, had to eat a few bites to make sure it wasn't a fluke that I didn't like the first bite, but, in the end, I didn't like any of the bites. And this was very depressing.

The conclusion I came to was that those cravings that I've had through the years wasn't about the food. I can admit – in the past, I often didn't even like what I was eating, but I kept eating because it was fulfilling the carb addiction I had. I wanted to like what I was eating, but I didn't always. It goes back to what I said about eating a bite of apple pie and knowing I didn't like it but eating the whole piece anyway. It's another trick my mind plays on me - or any addict's mind - this is making me happy in some way. Of course, this is the case, but I didn't realize it until last week that this is true also of "safe" types of food, as well. I knew that was the case for sugar and things obviously harmful to me - like ice cream. Or things hard for me to control. But basics, like bread or pancakes - I have used them as well, in the past, to feed the addiction and not to enjoy my food. It's funny that when you decide to eat only what you truly enjoy eating, it ends us not being what you thought you'd eat. If I eat in a conscientious, honest way, I'm often surprised what I end up eating and enjoying!