The "Weight" has been lifted

All of a sudden I'm back on track 100% - I mean like I was Aug '09. It feels amazing. And I wonder WHY??? I'm so about the why - I know it doesn't really matter but I think if I can understand the why I can learn from it. And all I can figure is that I messed up my time so badly in February that there is no way I can meet my commitment for the year so I now feel "off the hook". I mean it's volunteering, right? What are they going to do - fire me? But I feel so strongly to "accomplish" that now I don't feel the pressure. I erased all my hourly goals on the calendar and I've decided that giving in the ministry is important but not at the sacrifice of taking care of my health. One can say that and mean it when it means sick or not sick, but when it is so much more subtle of losing weight or getting enough sleep or taking me time so I'm not cranky - that's when it gets sketchy. That's when we tend to think - "no, serving others is more important". And it's also when we can take it too easy on ourselves so we aren't pushing. It's the pushing - pushing is good but it can be so destructive. So I'm now trying gentle pushing. Push today and rest tomorrow. What I know for sure is that I'm now focused on finishing this marathon this year and I'm finding my groove again. It feels good and freeing and liberating. Yeah!!!