I've never actually run a marathon but this is what I think it would be like: Pre-marathon - lots of training with a lot of excitement and nervousness about the actual event. On the actual day, I would think waiting at the starting line would be total adrenaline. Then you hear the shot gun & you wait and wait. There are LOTS of people that have to start before you. I've heard that it can take up to 15 minutes to actually cross the starting line after the shot gun. And then you have to pace yourself. The first few miles would be critical to pacing. And then, after a little bit I would think you hit your stride and get into the "zone". Then about half way or maybe more near the end, I would think you really need to start the self-talk - "You can do this. You can finish. Don't quit now. You've almost made it." And then you make it to the end and you feel euphoria and such a feeling of accomplishment. This is what I think running a marathon would feel like. Not sure I'll ever take on such a task so I'll just enjoy it in the figurative sense.
Before starting this plan there was a lot of excitement. "Can I do this? This sure sounds like it's going to work. Let's get everything ready in the house. Can I do this? This time is going to be different. Can I do this?"
Then I started the new plan and had to wait - it seems like forever before your first weigh in - and it's often disappointing. Thankfully with this plan, it isn't. It's exciting because you lose about 8-10 lbs. the first week.
And then I had to set my pace. You have to find how the plan works for you while dealing with withdrawals and new challenges.
But then I found my stride - and that's where I seem to be now. I no longer am nervous before events. I no longer want to stay home because I don't want to go near my favorite restaurants. I'm not craving eating out any more. I am not feeling deprived. I really have seemed to hit my stride. It's exciting. During the past month I had thoughts of "Am I really going to be able to do this for a year? I wonder when I'm going to give up and go off plan. I wonder when I'm going to start cheating." But those thoughts have gone away and now I feel like this is my new lifestyle. I do try new foods here and there and see how they affect my weight loss but I'm not going "off" plan or "cheating".
This is really exciting and I'm extremely encouraged. Of all the dieting I've done in my life - and there have been many - I've never gotten to this place - the place of "I think I can do this until the end." I know that I will hit that wall eventually where I'll have to do a lot of self-talk and convince myself that 180 is not my goal - 150 is STILL my goal. I already see that in the future - but for now, I'm going to enjoy the scenery and enjoy the feeling of "I can do this until the finish line!"
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Loss of Identity
Years ago (2003) I read the Dr. Phil book “The Ultimate Weight Solution” & I remember he asks, “What is the real issue? Why are you not choosing to lose weight?” – or something to that affect. I thought, “How am I supposed to find the answer to that question?” Subsequently, I have asked myself during this current success at weight loss, “Why now? What has changed so that you are finally doing this?” This is my thought today regarding these two questions. . .
Loss of identity. I was raised to become a pioneer – a full time minister. It was my goal from as far back as I can remember. I could explain in detail some of Daniel’s harder prophecies since I was probably 8 years old. I was baptized 2 months after turning 14, I began pioneering at 16 while still in school and working evenings. I made my time once by making 170 hrs in August – or some crazy figure - of course while still working. All of this Type A personality with a Type B body didn’t serve me well in the long run and led to my getting Chronic Fatigue, in fact, the year after that exhausting August. I didn’t know at the time that I had a Type B body. I wasn’t aware enough of the need to create my own identity with what genetics had given me verses becoming the person my parents (or parent) tried to create. I was never raised with the thinking, “As long as you’re happy.” No, happiness wasn’t the goal – full time service was the goal. And, as a parent now myself, I agree with that as a goal – I just think happiness should also be touted as a tangible goal in amongst the sentence. And it’s not that 10 years of pioneering didn’t create and aid in my happiness, but the drive it created in me ended up being damaging. Pioneering wasn’t my vocation, it was my identity. I was so disappointed when we stopped getting special cards to report our time or when everyone got free food at conventions and free literature. There was something special about being “in the club”. Now the whole “being in the club” attitude didn’t come from mom – that came from my peers. There was definitely a “pioneer until you die” attitude that was encouraged and stopping was very much discouraged. After I got sick I started resenting the parts on the conventions that told of people pioneering through cancer or while having HORRIBLE life situations. I thought, “I wish they would have more parts of people that quit pioneering because of those situations that were able to go back to it years later.” After I got sick, instead of admiring those that had never quit pioneering, I began to admire those that quit because their kids needed them for a year or two or quit to help their ailing parents but then went back to it after a few years. I thought, that appears to be so much more balanced and such a better goal to strive after.
So I quit pioneering in 1994, 3 years after getting C.F. and I basically went to bed waiting to recover. We opened a business that year which failed miserably and that led to several years of recovery and therapy. And then we finally paid off all debts in ’99 and almost immediately had to move in with my ailing grandmother, where we stayed for several years. Basically, life just continued to happen, as it does for most people. But I was used to being goal driven. My goal was to return to pioneering. Every year I would sit and evaluate when I could go back. But trying to even auxiliary pioneer would put me back in bed for weeks. We were able to go to Mexico Bethel in November and December, 2000. We came home and decided to move to Spanish in February 2001, the same month I had a miscarriage of triplets. And so learning Spanish was the goal for these many years – but I still didn’t have an identity. We had Emily in 2002 but it was really having the boys in 2005 when things began to shift for me.
I so resented having twins. I cried and cried for months when I found out I was having twins. I didn’t want more kids after Emily. I was so sick that first year after Emily’s birth that I just couldn’t fathom having more kids. I felt that she was near perfect and yet I barely could handle her, how could I handle more. But Kurt was determined that having an only child wasn’t right and he really wanted a boy so I “gave in” and agreed for one more. But I was right – I certainly couldn’t handle it and then I had twins to boot! The day I found out I was having twins I called Kurt and he was instant messaging a friend. So he immediately I.M. his friend who responded “No offense, but Wendy can’t handle twins” – even Kurt’s friends knew I wasn’t cut out for it. Of course, I later saw that it was a blessing because it made it “okay” to have help and a live in nanny. It made it more “acceptable” to go into debt for years because I was so sick I couldn’t take care of one baby, let alone two.
But having the boys has helped me do a few things – I have an identity now. After Emily was born I kept waiting for her mom to come pick her up. Even when she was two I said to Kurt, “Look, she’s still here.” It was the strangest feeling. I have always felt more of a big sister to Emily than her mom. I’m always fascinated by her and in awe of her but in no way do I feel “ownership” of her – like I’m her mother. But I feel differently towards the boys for some reason. Probably because I worried about them so much more during pregnancy, directly after pregnancy with their medical complications, and even now with their small little issues they have. I have always felt that Emily will grow up to be an amazing woman – with or without me. She just has something about her that is special and unique. But the boys seem to need me more. And I think that having them has 1) helped me find an identity 2) helped me give up the “drive” and “controlling” spirit – because of being so sick for so many years but also because having twins will make you do that (Side point – I was in service one day with a young girl that was so self-righteous and knew it all that I left her that day with the blessing, “I wish for you twins or triplets in your future so you can become the loving adult you’re destined to become.”) and 3) having such a breakdown after having the boys – both physically and emotionally – has helped me finally focus on myself and get the help I needed which then has helped me become more like the person I’ve always wanted to become.
And the other huge gift that I’ve been given in the past year is two amazing, progressive studies. I haven’t had this satisfaction in SOOOO many years and it’s been a real gift. This has helped me balance my past identity of a pioneer with my “mom” identity and has helped me feel more balanced and rounded as a person.
The trigger to this thought process was this quote I just read, “An oak tree is brought into creation by two forces at the same time. Obviously, there is the acorn from which it all begins . . . But also from another force operating as well – the future tree itself, which wants so badly to exist that it pulls the acorn into being . . . In this respect it is the oak tree that creates the very acorn from which it was born.” Although more Zen-like thinking that I subscribe to, it did make me think – I believe that there was a better Me wanting very much to come out – that’s a lot what this losing weight is about for me. Becoming the better version of Wendy and being a person that I can believe in and admire – and I feel like it’s this force that has drawn me from where I was to where I am now heading. Who knew, I am an oak tree (take that Katharine Hepburn).
Loss of identity. I was raised to become a pioneer – a full time minister. It was my goal from as far back as I can remember. I could explain in detail some of Daniel’s harder prophecies since I was probably 8 years old. I was baptized 2 months after turning 14, I began pioneering at 16 while still in school and working evenings. I made my time once by making 170 hrs in August – or some crazy figure - of course while still working. All of this Type A personality with a Type B body didn’t serve me well in the long run and led to my getting Chronic Fatigue, in fact, the year after that exhausting August. I didn’t know at the time that I had a Type B body. I wasn’t aware enough of the need to create my own identity with what genetics had given me verses becoming the person my parents (or parent) tried to create. I was never raised with the thinking, “As long as you’re happy.” No, happiness wasn’t the goal – full time service was the goal. And, as a parent now myself, I agree with that as a goal – I just think happiness should also be touted as a tangible goal in amongst the sentence. And it’s not that 10 years of pioneering didn’t create and aid in my happiness, but the drive it created in me ended up being damaging. Pioneering wasn’t my vocation, it was my identity. I was so disappointed when we stopped getting special cards to report our time or when everyone got free food at conventions and free literature. There was something special about being “in the club”. Now the whole “being in the club” attitude didn’t come from mom – that came from my peers. There was definitely a “pioneer until you die” attitude that was encouraged and stopping was very much discouraged. After I got sick I started resenting the parts on the conventions that told of people pioneering through cancer or while having HORRIBLE life situations. I thought, “I wish they would have more parts of people that quit pioneering because of those situations that were able to go back to it years later.” After I got sick, instead of admiring those that had never quit pioneering, I began to admire those that quit because their kids needed them for a year or two or quit to help their ailing parents but then went back to it after a few years. I thought, that appears to be so much more balanced and such a better goal to strive after.
So I quit pioneering in 1994, 3 years after getting C.F. and I basically went to bed waiting to recover. We opened a business that year which failed miserably and that led to several years of recovery and therapy. And then we finally paid off all debts in ’99 and almost immediately had to move in with my ailing grandmother, where we stayed for several years. Basically, life just continued to happen, as it does for most people. But I was used to being goal driven. My goal was to return to pioneering. Every year I would sit and evaluate when I could go back. But trying to even auxiliary pioneer would put me back in bed for weeks. We were able to go to Mexico Bethel in November and December, 2000. We came home and decided to move to Spanish in February 2001, the same month I had a miscarriage of triplets. And so learning Spanish was the goal for these many years – but I still didn’t have an identity. We had Emily in 2002 but it was really having the boys in 2005 when things began to shift for me.
I so resented having twins. I cried and cried for months when I found out I was having twins. I didn’t want more kids after Emily. I was so sick that first year after Emily’s birth that I just couldn’t fathom having more kids. I felt that she was near perfect and yet I barely could handle her, how could I handle more. But Kurt was determined that having an only child wasn’t right and he really wanted a boy so I “gave in” and agreed for one more. But I was right – I certainly couldn’t handle it and then I had twins to boot! The day I found out I was having twins I called Kurt and he was instant messaging a friend. So he immediately I.M. his friend who responded “No offense, but Wendy can’t handle twins” – even Kurt’s friends knew I wasn’t cut out for it. Of course, I later saw that it was a blessing because it made it “okay” to have help and a live in nanny. It made it more “acceptable” to go into debt for years because I was so sick I couldn’t take care of one baby, let alone two.
But having the boys has helped me do a few things – I have an identity now. After Emily was born I kept waiting for her mom to come pick her up. Even when she was two I said to Kurt, “Look, she’s still here.” It was the strangest feeling. I have always felt more of a big sister to Emily than her mom. I’m always fascinated by her and in awe of her but in no way do I feel “ownership” of her – like I’m her mother. But I feel differently towards the boys for some reason. Probably because I worried about them so much more during pregnancy, directly after pregnancy with their medical complications, and even now with their small little issues they have. I have always felt that Emily will grow up to be an amazing woman – with or without me. She just has something about her that is special and unique. But the boys seem to need me more. And I think that having them has 1) helped me find an identity 2) helped me give up the “drive” and “controlling” spirit – because of being so sick for so many years but also because having twins will make you do that (Side point – I was in service one day with a young girl that was so self-righteous and knew it all that I left her that day with the blessing, “I wish for you twins or triplets in your future so you can become the loving adult you’re destined to become.”) and 3) having such a breakdown after having the boys – both physically and emotionally – has helped me finally focus on myself and get the help I needed which then has helped me become more like the person I’ve always wanted to become.
And the other huge gift that I’ve been given in the past year is two amazing, progressive studies. I haven’t had this satisfaction in SOOOO many years and it’s been a real gift. This has helped me balance my past identity of a pioneer with my “mom” identity and has helped me feel more balanced and rounded as a person.
The trigger to this thought process was this quote I just read, “An oak tree is brought into creation by two forces at the same time. Obviously, there is the acorn from which it all begins . . . But also from another force operating as well – the future tree itself, which wants so badly to exist that it pulls the acorn into being . . . In this respect it is the oak tree that creates the very acorn from which it was born.” Although more Zen-like thinking that I subscribe to, it did make me think – I believe that there was a better Me wanting very much to come out – that’s a lot what this losing weight is about for me. Becoming the better version of Wendy and being a person that I can believe in and admire – and I feel like it’s this force that has drawn me from where I was to where I am now heading. Who knew, I am an oak tree (take that Katharine Hepburn).
Thursday, September 24, 2009
I'm a Who
So I'll preface this by saying that's it's been since April 2008 that I've been so sick but I thought I'd share my experience. I'm not usually a very "feel sorry for myself" kind of gal. I know there are MANY that have it harder than me so why wallow in self-pity. And even those that might not have cancer or debilitating disease, might have a sucky attitude and negative spirit - so they still have it worse than me. But the one thing that will always get me to sing the "poor me" blues is a hefty bout of chronic fatigue. I will also add that I have often said that if I had to choose an illness I would choose chronic fatigue, so even in that, I try to keep a glass half full attitude. But how my chronic fatigue shows itself is basically a total breakdown of immune system. I get the normal bug that’s going around and then it becomes worse and worse until it eventually turns into pneumonia or a sinus infection or strep throat. It finally goes away after about 6 or 7 weeks and then I’m fine for about 3 weeks and then I get another bug and the cycle repeats itself. During the first 3 years after the boys were born I was sick in bed and in need of antibiotics about 7 months out of every year. After Emily was born I had strep throat 3 times during the first year – but it never turned into full out chronic fatigue. Other symptoms of C.F. are a low grade fever all the time. I’d drive home from every meeting having a fever – too much stress with all the kids. And I usually have gross nightmares with C.F. Mine usually is bloody horrible car crashes on the freeway with family members being run over by semis. Nice, huh? I only have those when I’ve been sick for a while. But I’ve talked with others with C.F. and they also have horrible nightmares. Not sure how that fits into things. I usually do okay at first by thinking that this can’t last forever – it will either fade or I’ll die – so in either case, I will be done with this eventually. But the last time I found a wonderful coping tool.
So I’m sitting in my chair crying and feeling sorry for myself, seeing that I’m sick again for the hundredth time in 3 years. But we had just seen Horton Hears a Who and I’m thinking to myself, “Happiness is a choice. It isn’t dependant of your circumstances or your physical self. It’s a choice. Happiness is available to you right now – you just have to choose to find it in your circumstance and latch on.” So I just kept repeating to myself, “Contentment and happiness is available to you right now, if you choose to have it.” Over and over. And then I had the vision – I’m a Who. I am merely a traveler of this world on a floating clover and I have no control where the clover goes. It goes in and out of circumstances and for each of us it travels a different direction. For me it has been floating amongst sickness but I am not the clover. I needed to quit defining myself as my sickness but rather see it as a temporary wallpaper of my life. Life is nothing if not constantly in flux. My clover would not always be amongst sickness, and the truth is, this might be a welcome change compared to where it will float in the future. So I really had a defining “out of body” experience in that I began to be able to see myself as apart from my sick body and I was actually able to find some peace amongst the illness.
I’m not sure if this attitude change helped me finally snap out of the illness or if my wonderful nose lavage with colloidal silver made the difference but basically, I got healthier and haven’t been in that state now for almost 2 years. I’ve always found it a fascinating human study how people in horrible situations (not me, I mean horrible situations) can be so upbeat and focus on what’s wonderful while others with health and family can find life so troubling and depressing. I’m sure a lot of it is hormones and genetics but it’s probably also what we choose to concentrate on. Someone was complaining about something, I can’t remember what it was now and they turned to me and asked my opinion – and always one with an opinion to give, I said, “I think your life must be wonderful seeing that this is what you have the time and energy to complain about!”
So I’m sitting in my chair crying and feeling sorry for myself, seeing that I’m sick again for the hundredth time in 3 years. But we had just seen Horton Hears a Who and I’m thinking to myself, “Happiness is a choice. It isn’t dependant of your circumstances or your physical self. It’s a choice. Happiness is available to you right now – you just have to choose to find it in your circumstance and latch on.” So I just kept repeating to myself, “Contentment and happiness is available to you right now, if you choose to have it.” Over and over. And then I had the vision – I’m a Who. I am merely a traveler of this world on a floating clover and I have no control where the clover goes. It goes in and out of circumstances and for each of us it travels a different direction. For me it has been floating amongst sickness but I am not the clover. I needed to quit defining myself as my sickness but rather see it as a temporary wallpaper of my life. Life is nothing if not constantly in flux. My clover would not always be amongst sickness, and the truth is, this might be a welcome change compared to where it will float in the future. So I really had a defining “out of body” experience in that I began to be able to see myself as apart from my sick body and I was actually able to find some peace amongst the illness.
I’m not sure if this attitude change helped me finally snap out of the illness or if my wonderful nose lavage with colloidal silver made the difference but basically, I got healthier and haven’t been in that state now for almost 2 years. I’ve always found it a fascinating human study how people in horrible situations (not me, I mean horrible situations) can be so upbeat and focus on what’s wonderful while others with health and family can find life so troubling and depressing. I’m sure a lot of it is hormones and genetics but it’s probably also what we choose to concentrate on. Someone was complaining about something, I can’t remember what it was now and they turned to me and asked my opinion – and always one with an opinion to give, I said, “I think your life must be wonderful seeing that this is what you have the time and energy to complain about!”
Saturday, September 19, 2009
3D Puzzle
Remember those 3D Magic Eye puzzles that were all the rage in the early 90's? You were supposed to focus somewhere beyond the picture & blur your eyes a bit & then the real picture came into view. I never could do it. Not once. I spent hours staring at those darn puzzles & never could see the picture. I'd hear those around me saying, "OH! I see it now. Don't you see it Wendy? Just squint your eyes . . . " Nope.
I think this whole weight loss journey is like that. I keep waiting (I almost wrote weighting) for it to click. Why does it seems that so many people just understand the balance of eating good food, eating healthy food & exercise and don't have the issues I have. I wonder that for about a second until I really look around and, really, how many are getting it? How many aren't 30 or more pounds overweight? So at least I'm not alone, but I'm still waiting to have it click. For me to say, "OH! Now it makes sense. Now I understand how it feels." Because once you know the trick, you can always find the solution in the puzzle. I'm hoping that this plan is the solution. It's not the solution I wanted. I wanted to eat what I wanted every day & lose weight magically - that's the solution I was hoping for. But those that have been successful with this plan for years use this plan as their puzzle solving solution.
Just keep looking past the puzzle & squint - Do you see it yet?
I think this whole weight loss journey is like that. I keep waiting (I almost wrote weighting) for it to click. Why does it seems that so many people just understand the balance of eating good food, eating healthy food & exercise and don't have the issues I have. I wonder that for about a second until I really look around and, really, how many are getting it? How many aren't 30 or more pounds overweight? So at least I'm not alone, but I'm still waiting to have it click. For me to say, "OH! Now it makes sense. Now I understand how it feels." Because once you know the trick, you can always find the solution in the puzzle. I'm hoping that this plan is the solution. It's not the solution I wanted. I wanted to eat what I wanted every day & lose weight magically - that's the solution I was hoping for. But those that have been successful with this plan for years use this plan as their puzzle solving solution.
Just keep looking past the puzzle & squint - Do you see it yet?
The Great Toast Debate
Should I have a piece of toast with breakfast tomorrow morning? What a simple idea & yet what a huge debate. I could forgo the potatoes but the toast with jam - YUM! I could taste it, I could smell it. And it goes so nicely with the egg breakfast that I wanted. So I discussed this extremely life shattering question with Kurt.
On the one hand, some that have gone off the plan have said that once you go back onto higher carbs, it's REALLY hard to go back. But they didn't eat a piece of toast with jam. They went off for a while or a few days. On the other hand, if I go off the plan, it takes about 3 or 4 days to get back into the zone & have your hunger & cravings subside. So it's like starting all over again. On the other hand, is it reasonable to expect that I am going to be off "outside" carbs (the plan's food has carbs so I'm not off carbs) for a whole year? And isn't this why people lose so much weight & once they can go back onto food, they go CRAZY? Hmmmmm, I make so many good points. What to do?
Here's the thing - it's a no win situation. Either I eat the toast w/ jam (YUMMMM) & have a horrible time going back on & waste 3 days getting back into the zone & perhaps lose my momentum - or perhaps never get my momentum back. Or I eat the toast w/ jam (YUMMMM) & go back onto the plan perfectly & don't lose my momentum but then feel like it's okay to cheat because the consequence wasn't so bad after all. I could already feel the thought forming, "Well if it's not that bad, then every month you can treat yourself to . . . "
In the end, no toast w/ jam, no breakfast out, shake, shake & shake. Stick to plan - it's working. Why mess with what's not broken. TRUST THE SYSTEM.
On the one hand, some that have gone off the plan have said that once you go back onto higher carbs, it's REALLY hard to go back. But they didn't eat a piece of toast with jam. They went off for a while or a few days. On the other hand, if I go off the plan, it takes about 3 or 4 days to get back into the zone & have your hunger & cravings subside. So it's like starting all over again. On the other hand, is it reasonable to expect that I am going to be off "outside" carbs (the plan's food has carbs so I'm not off carbs) for a whole year? And isn't this why people lose so much weight & once they can go back onto food, they go CRAZY? Hmmmmm, I make so many good points. What to do?
Here's the thing - it's a no win situation. Either I eat the toast w/ jam (YUMMMM) & have a horrible time going back on & waste 3 days getting back into the zone & perhaps lose my momentum - or perhaps never get my momentum back. Or I eat the toast w/ jam (YUMMMM) & go back onto the plan perfectly & don't lose my momentum but then feel like it's okay to cheat because the consequence wasn't so bad after all. I could already feel the thought forming, "Well if it's not that bad, then every month you can treat yourself to . . . "
In the end, no toast w/ jam, no breakfast out, shake, shake & shake. Stick to plan - it's working. Why mess with what's not broken. TRUST THE SYSTEM.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Slippery Slope
It’s funny how rationalization works. For every diet (except for this one) I rationalize my way out of it until it’s unrecognizable. And if it’s not about food, it’s about exercise or diet pop or anything. For example, I’m trying to stay off diet pop but it’s hard – it’s technically on this eating plan & I love it so it’s hard not to “treat” myself when I’m out & about & want something. So I’m great for about a week & then I think, “Well, one every once in a while won’t necessarily kill me. I mean, if I die from a brain tumor it will be most likely due to the years of diet pop, not today’s.” Wow! I totally relate to EVE!! Rationalizing your way into doing whatever you want to do. It used to be, “I am trying to be off sugar but it’s your black & white way of thinking that has gotten you into this mess so balance is more reasonable. What would balance be? One thing a day? One thing a week? Until you decide, I’m eating this.” Exercise, “Go for a walk today, it’s beautiful out. Well, you could walk to pick up Emmy from school. But then I would have to walk back too & that would be 2.5 miles & it’s too much for the boys. And you should start slow anyway. You always overdo it. Wow! I’m suddenly not feeling very well. I better not head out right now.” Then 3 hours later it begins to rain – “Oh too bad, I was going to try to walk today.” Seriously, this is the stupidity that goes through my mind. Now, even while the thoughts are forming I know how stupid & irrational they are. I don’t buy into it but I can’t stop the thoughts from forming either. It’s a good thing I’m not a smoker – I’d NEVER quit!
Kiss the 90's Goodbye!!
YEAH! I'm officially done with the 290's. Can't tell you how thrilled that makes me. I'm still in awe of my success with this. It doesn't seem real. Maybe I'll go celebrate with a Hot Fudge Sundae! Just kidding - I'm calling right now to schedule a massage . . .
No Bites!
I've been finding myself being more tempted to take 'bites' from my kids' food. This morning I was putting crackers out & I almost ate one. It's instinctive. When I made a cake a few weeks ago I had to be SOOOOO conscientious not to lick my fingers. Kurt had to taste the frosting & taste everything & I had to continually remind myself not to lick fingers. It goes to show that if I can do it, those Chopped chefs should be able to! :)
So I was hoping that I would find some friends & family to join me on this plan & I could ease my way into being a Health Coach but instead I've motivated 3 or 4 of my friends to either go back to their old diets or try something new. I think the meal replacement idea scares a lot of people - not being able to eat what they feel like. And if eating what you feel like works consistently to lose weight then that's great - but I sure can't do it. I just think between the huge portions & the lack of self-control, it's too difficult to lose weight. I'd rather do this, see weight loss daily, know it's working & know that I'll be done that much sooner. But I say this after trying everything else first for 18 years. I'm a slow learner!!
So I was hoping that I would find some friends & family to join me on this plan & I could ease my way into being a Health Coach but instead I've motivated 3 or 4 of my friends to either go back to their old diets or try something new. I think the meal replacement idea scares a lot of people - not being able to eat what they feel like. And if eating what you feel like works consistently to lose weight then that's great - but I sure can't do it. I just think between the huge portions & the lack of self-control, it's too difficult to lose weight. I'd rather do this, see weight loss daily, know it's working & know that I'll be done that much sooner. But I say this after trying everything else first for 18 years. I'm a slow learner!!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Darn You Food TV!
So it used to be that I would be thrilled to have the house to myself - kids are off to school, Kurt's off to work & I have nothing horribly pressing to do. I still love the quiet but I REALLY want food to keep me company on these days. And my normal passing of time by watching the Food channel really isn't helping!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
How Long??
First, I want to report that eating every 3 hrs has done the trick!! I've lost 2 lbs. in about 4 days & I've eaten out in restaurants 3 of those days!! (Salads w/ chicken - but BIG salads) So if I had eaten at home it would have been much more. So point proven to all of you out there that eating every few hours really does help the metabolism kick in!
Second, I've heard some interesting comments lately. One person asked me "How long do you think you can stick to this plan?" She had done the shake diet a few years ago & lost tons of weight but once life got hectic again & she stopped exercising, it all came back. And it seems like a very logical question - because we've been taught that "diets" are temporary & then we can go back to eating "normal" once we lose the weight. So I explained my new found philosophy - this is how I'm going to eat forever - with the exception that I will eventually add back a few carbs & fruits throughout the day, in extreme moderation. (I didn't tell her how scared I am about this & how I am worried that I will eventually go back to my old patterns & gain the weight back - but that's more for the therapist anyway)
And the other comment yesterday was from my mom. My dad was diagnosed with diabetes a few years ago. Side story - a few years ago my dad lost about 30 lbs. & no one was sure why so he was headed to the doctor. When I told Kurt, my husband, his first comment to me was, "Your mom is moving in with us, isn't she?" Hilarious! Anyway, my mom told me yesterday that my dad is taking his "diet" seriously now & they are going to a nutrition class to learn more about the eating plan. Now take into consideration that my mom is a professional dieter. She has been on a diet since I can remember. I call her professional because her dieting actually got her a car once. My grandma had told her that if she had lost a specific amount of weight she'd buy her a car & WALLA - she did it. She signed me up for Weight Watchers at the earliest age I could be signed up with them. She is a lifetime member with them & is now again trying their program. So yesterday she said, "So I'm learning so much from this nutrition class. I'm surprised at how much the diabetes diet is similar to Atkins type diet - low carbs & high protein. I thought that if I was eating within my points I was being healthy but now I can see that I can eat within my points & be having WAY too many carbs."
First, YEAH! How wonderful that she is learning this. And secondly, WHAT!!! You mean in all those years dieting you really didn't have any idea about nutrition? I'm really shocked at how little we know about what we put into our bodies. My friend's 7 year old child recently told my daughter that ice cream was healthy for us because it had lots of calcium. WHAT!!! I've always thought that on some level we know, but maybe we don't. Maybe most people really don't know about carbs & proteins & fats & sugars & how the balance of those factors determines our weight more than calories. The truth is, I didn't either.
I remember reading "Stop the Insanity" & telling my mom, "Mom, read this book. It proves that eating carbs won't make us fat!" How little I knew then!! I was eating tons of pasta & fat free foods & was gaining & not understanding why. Well, another lesson learned - stop assuming.
Second, I've heard some interesting comments lately. One person asked me "How long do you think you can stick to this plan?" She had done the shake diet a few years ago & lost tons of weight but once life got hectic again & she stopped exercising, it all came back. And it seems like a very logical question - because we've been taught that "diets" are temporary & then we can go back to eating "normal" once we lose the weight. So I explained my new found philosophy - this is how I'm going to eat forever - with the exception that I will eventually add back a few carbs & fruits throughout the day, in extreme moderation. (I didn't tell her how scared I am about this & how I am worried that I will eventually go back to my old patterns & gain the weight back - but that's more for the therapist anyway)
And the other comment yesterday was from my mom. My dad was diagnosed with diabetes a few years ago. Side story - a few years ago my dad lost about 30 lbs. & no one was sure why so he was headed to the doctor. When I told Kurt, my husband, his first comment to me was, "Your mom is moving in with us, isn't she?" Hilarious! Anyway, my mom told me yesterday that my dad is taking his "diet" seriously now & they are going to a nutrition class to learn more about the eating plan. Now take into consideration that my mom is a professional dieter. She has been on a diet since I can remember. I call her professional because her dieting actually got her a car once. My grandma had told her that if she had lost a specific amount of weight she'd buy her a car & WALLA - she did it. She signed me up for Weight Watchers at the earliest age I could be signed up with them. She is a lifetime member with them & is now again trying their program. So yesterday she said, "So I'm learning so much from this nutrition class. I'm surprised at how much the diabetes diet is similar to Atkins type diet - low carbs & high protein. I thought that if I was eating within my points I was being healthy but now I can see that I can eat within my points & be having WAY too many carbs."
First, YEAH! How wonderful that she is learning this. And secondly, WHAT!!! You mean in all those years dieting you really didn't have any idea about nutrition? I'm really shocked at how little we know about what we put into our bodies. My friend's 7 year old child recently told my daughter that ice cream was healthy for us because it had lots of calcium. WHAT!!! I've always thought that on some level we know, but maybe we don't. Maybe most people really don't know about carbs & proteins & fats & sugars & how the balance of those factors determines our weight more than calories. The truth is, I didn't either.
I remember reading "Stop the Insanity" & telling my mom, "Mom, read this book. It proves that eating carbs won't make us fat!" How little I knew then!! I was eating tons of pasta & fat free foods & was gaining & not understanding why. Well, another lesson learned - stop assuming.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
"I Need Fun!", she whines.
So not to say that I haven't had fun lately but this evening we kind of wanted to go out w/ the kids & we couldn't think of anything to do where we'd all have fun that didn't include food. I guess we could exercise (that 8 letter word) - go for a bike ride, go for a walk. I definitely need to adjust my thinking about what fun consists of. What I would have loved to do is go out to dinner where the kids can play or enjoy themselves & I could have a glass of wine & nice dinner. I will someday do that again but just not now & I can't put life on hold for another year. And since I already ate my lean & green for the day I need to eat my meal replacements for dinner so going out to eat wasn't an option to stay on plan. So how to have fun with the kids that doesn't cost much money & doesn't involve food? I guess, in reality, that's the question for all parents.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Are You Stuck in the 90's?
YES!! I'm stuck in the 90's, 290's that is. I haven't lost any weight since last Monday! Frustrating. I went online last night to the Take Shape for Life community & found the possible problem. Some said that eating more than 2.5 hrs or 3 hrs apart starts to slow your metabolism & so this is what I found, "Resting metabolic rate typically increases as much as two to three times more after eating proteins versus carbohydrates and fats." So I'm being really good & eating every 3 hrs again.
One of the things that I used to fight with is not deciding which "plan" to use. Was I not eating sugar this week? Was I only eating comfort foods on the weekend? Was I off milk today? You know these people - every 2 weeks they are on a new diet. Always a new idea that will work. So what I've appreciated is the science & logic behind this plan. With my first order I received a book that explains why it works & so all I have to do is tell myself "Trust the plan, Trust the plan". When I did the Medifast shake diet during my postpartum "kill me now" year no one explained the whole ketosis thing & how going off program makes it pretty much useless. So I was adding bananas to my shakes & wondering why I wasn't losing weight. Now I understand a bit better how the science works & it REALLY helps me stick to the plan. Because it takes about 3 days to go into ketosis mode, if I decide to go off plan (chicken teriyaki & rice is what might tempt me), then I'm basically wasting 3 days of food until I kick back into high gear. Not worth it - at least not yet!
So let's see if eating as I should be, every 3 hrs, makes a difference. I'm also back to my 100 oz. of water a day. That should make a difference as well.
One of the things that I used to fight with is not deciding which "plan" to use. Was I not eating sugar this week? Was I only eating comfort foods on the weekend? Was I off milk today? You know these people - every 2 weeks they are on a new diet. Always a new idea that will work. So what I've appreciated is the science & logic behind this plan. With my first order I received a book that explains why it works & so all I have to do is tell myself "Trust the plan, Trust the plan". When I did the Medifast shake diet during my postpartum "kill me now" year no one explained the whole ketosis thing & how going off program makes it pretty much useless. So I was adding bananas to my shakes & wondering why I wasn't losing weight. Now I understand a bit better how the science works & it REALLY helps me stick to the plan. Because it takes about 3 days to go into ketosis mode, if I decide to go off plan (chicken teriyaki & rice is what might tempt me), then I'm basically wasting 3 days of food until I kick back into high gear. Not worth it - at least not yet!
So let's see if eating as I should be, every 3 hrs, makes a difference. I'm also back to my 100 oz. of water a day. That should make a difference as well.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
YEAH! Truvia Wins!
I finally decided to get to the documentary that Nita gave me about Aspartame. I was avoiding it because I didn't want to watch a preachy video telling me how bad my beloved Diet Pepsi was but I was having a hard time avoiding pop & it really does affect my weight loss so I thought I needed added inspiration & WOW!!! Not what I was expecting. This isn't just about the health effects of Aspartame but it goes into HOW it passed FDA approval. They didn't even TRY to cover their tracks as to how they got paid off.
I really feel that this is a MUST SEE for every family. Especially with the rise in cancer among us, you MUST WATCH this video. For example, did you know that 10% of aspartame turns to formaldehyde & remains in your body FOREVER?? Unless, of course, you have dialysis. I'm sure my liver looks like a carpet sample w/ all the stored formaldehyde. But I'm making the embalmer's job much easier in the years to come!
I'm really not an alarmist but this is as corrupt as Mexican drug cartel but we're giving it to our kids! At least, I was.
So, after watching this, I did research on Splenda (my alternative "healthy" option) & Truvia. It turns out Splenda does just as much damage, but in different areas of the body - not brain cancer & lymphoma but kidney & liver damage. Splenda is a cousin of DDT & is made by changing sugar by adding chlorine. It then becomes a Chlorocarbon. Again, I'm not an alarmist but this must be harmful to the body!
But Truvia actually isn't horrible. So I cleaned out the cupboards & hopefully we can meet our demise from another unknown source. I'll go back to my fantasy of Death by Chocolate!
I really feel that this is a MUST SEE for every family. Especially with the rise in cancer among us, you MUST WATCH this video. For example, did you know that 10% of aspartame turns to formaldehyde & remains in your body FOREVER?? Unless, of course, you have dialysis. I'm sure my liver looks like a carpet sample w/ all the stored formaldehyde. But I'm making the embalmer's job much easier in the years to come!
I'm really not an alarmist but this is as corrupt as Mexican drug cartel but we're giving it to our kids! At least, I was.
So, after watching this, I did research on Splenda (my alternative "healthy" option) & Truvia. It turns out Splenda does just as much damage, but in different areas of the body - not brain cancer & lymphoma but kidney & liver damage. Splenda is a cousin of DDT & is made by changing sugar by adding chlorine. It then becomes a Chlorocarbon. Again, I'm not an alarmist but this must be harmful to the body!
But Truvia actually isn't horrible. So I cleaned out the cupboards & hopefully we can meet our demise from another unknown source. I'll go back to my fantasy of Death by Chocolate!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Eating Too Little - Who Me??
So I've been more tired & grumpy lately. And it dawned on me that I'm actually eating too little. ME EATING TOO LITTLE? I've been playing a game with myself to see if I can go another 1/2 hr before eating and it actually has gone a bit too far. Lately I've only been eating about 300 calories by the time dinner roles around & then I'm not hungry enough after dinner to eat 2 more bars or shakes. But I'm now not losing as quickly. My health coach had told me that you know when you're "in the zone" when you aren't hungry & losing a little bit every day. So I still have the "not hungry" part down, but I need to keep my calories up. Never been a problem before.
It's funny how this journey is creating new experiences every day. I never understood those people that would "forget" to eat! So I'm eating all my food today & let's see how tomorrow goes!
It's funny how this journey is creating new experiences every day. I never understood those people that would "forget" to eat! So I'm eating all my food today & let's see how tomorrow goes!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Next Venture
So I've decided I like this program enough to become a certified health coach. Any guinea pigs out there (no pun intended). Anyway, my first course talked about HFCS (high fructose corn syrup) & I had always wondered why it was rumored to be so bad so I did some research & was amazed how confused I was. And I thought I was pretty well informed as to food. Maybe I was just well informed as to where to go EAT food.
So the question to you is - Which is "healthier" for your body, glucose or fructose? Have your answer yet?
Well, they both are okay in moderate amounts - a peach has 1.5 g fructose / 2.0 glucose / 4.8 sucrose. But how our bodies break it down is what I found interesting:
"Glucose is metabolized in every cell in the body but all fructose must be metabolized in the liver. The livers of test animals fed large amounts of fructose develop fatty deposits and cirrhosis, similar to problems that develop in the livers of alcoholics.
Fructose is generally regarded as being 1.73 times sweeter than sucrose.
Fructose is absorbed primarily in the jejunum before metabolism in the liver. Fructose is converted to fatty acids by the liver at a greater rate than is glucose. When consumed in excess of dietary glucose, the liver cannot convert all of the excess fructose in the system and it may be malabsorbed. The portion that escapes conversion may be thrown out in the urine. Diarrhea can be a consequence. A study of 25 patients with functional bowel disease showed that pronounced gastrointestinal distress may be provoked by malabsorption of small amounts of fructose.
Fructose interacts with oral contraceptives and elevates insulin levels in women on "the pill."
In studies with rats, fructose consistently produces higher kidney calcium concentrations than glucose. Fructose generally induces greater urinary concentrations of phosphorus and magnesium and lowered urinary pH compared with glucose.
In humans, fructose feeding leads to mineral losses, especially higher fecal excretions of iron and magnesium, than did subjects fed sucrose. Iron, magnesium, calcium, and zinc balances tended to be more negative during the fructose-feeding period as compared to balances during the sucrose-feeding period.
Because it is metabolized by the liver, fructose does not cause the pancreas to release insulin the way it normally does. Fructose converts to fat more than any other sugar. This may be one of the reasons Americans continue to get fatter. Fructose raises serum triglycerides significantly. As a left-handed sugar, fructose digestion is very low. For complete internal conversion of fructose into glucose and acetates, it must rob ATP energy stores from the liver.
Not only does fructose have more damaging effects in the presence of copper deficiency, fructose also inhibits copper metabolism--another example of the sweeteners double-whammy effect. A deficiency in copper leads to bone fragility, anemia, defects of the connective tissue, arteries, and bone, infertility, heart arrhythmias, high cholesterol levels, heart attacks, and an inability to control blood sugar levels."
WOW - didn't know that. I always thought when reading labels that if it said fructose & not HFCS then it was the sugar from fruit & was healthier. But the truth is, all this fructose is overtaxing our livers, raising our triglycerides & depleting us of nutrition.
So the question to you is - Which is "healthier" for your body, glucose or fructose? Have your answer yet?
Well, they both are okay in moderate amounts - a peach has 1.5 g fructose / 2.0 glucose / 4.8 sucrose. But how our bodies break it down is what I found interesting:
"Glucose is metabolized in every cell in the body but all fructose must be metabolized in the liver. The livers of test animals fed large amounts of fructose develop fatty deposits and cirrhosis, similar to problems that develop in the livers of alcoholics.
Fructose is generally regarded as being 1.73 times sweeter than sucrose.
Fructose is absorbed primarily in the jejunum before metabolism in the liver. Fructose is converted to fatty acids by the liver at a greater rate than is glucose. When consumed in excess of dietary glucose, the liver cannot convert all of the excess fructose in the system and it may be malabsorbed. The portion that escapes conversion may be thrown out in the urine. Diarrhea can be a consequence. A study of 25 patients with functional bowel disease showed that pronounced gastrointestinal distress may be provoked by malabsorption of small amounts of fructose.
Fructose interacts with oral contraceptives and elevates insulin levels in women on "the pill."
In studies with rats, fructose consistently produces higher kidney calcium concentrations than glucose. Fructose generally induces greater urinary concentrations of phosphorus and magnesium and lowered urinary pH compared with glucose.
In humans, fructose feeding leads to mineral losses, especially higher fecal excretions of iron and magnesium, than did subjects fed sucrose. Iron, magnesium, calcium, and zinc balances tended to be more negative during the fructose-feeding period as compared to balances during the sucrose-feeding period.
Because it is metabolized by the liver, fructose does not cause the pancreas to release insulin the way it normally does. Fructose converts to fat more than any other sugar. This may be one of the reasons Americans continue to get fatter. Fructose raises serum triglycerides significantly. As a left-handed sugar, fructose digestion is very low. For complete internal conversion of fructose into glucose and acetates, it must rob ATP energy stores from the liver.
Not only does fructose have more damaging effects in the presence of copper deficiency, fructose also inhibits copper metabolism--another example of the sweeteners double-whammy effect. A deficiency in copper leads to bone fragility, anemia, defects of the connective tissue, arteries, and bone, infertility, heart arrhythmias, high cholesterol levels, heart attacks, and an inability to control blood sugar levels."
WOW - didn't know that. I always thought when reading labels that if it said fructose & not HFCS then it was the sugar from fruit & was healthier. But the truth is, all this fructose is overtaxing our livers, raising our triglycerides & depleting us of nutrition.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)