What do I want today?

I'm passed all the thousands of events for February which kept me from staying on program. It's now time to get back on & I stood in the shower debating what I really wanted to do. It's so much harder to find motivation from a "so-so" life then from a "desperate" life. I'm no longer desperate - life is so-so. Our finances are so-so, my pioneering is so-so, my health is so-so, my weight is so-so. Nothing is desperate or overly depressing but nothing is stellar either. So what do I want? Can I be satisfied and happy with so-so? I have SOOOOO many friends and family that choose so-so over the work it takes for success. And I stood there wondering if I could do that. I sure would like to - just accept where I am and give up the "dream". But I'm just not that type of person. I KNOW that I can have success at losing weight and with that will come success at getting healthy once again and with that pioneering will become easier again and with all that will come money since people are attracted to success and happiness. I hate that staying on program is the key to contentment, but so far with what I've experienced - it is. When I eat in a way to stay healthy, everything else improves. It's not "Medifast" - it's taking care of my health. So back on I go. I will find motivation from the goal line and not from the desperateness. I can and will do this.